Price Of The Bride

I recorded a YouTube video; WHY DO WE PAY BRIDE PRICE?
Someone responded “Joanna, it’s tradition we can’t throw tradition away”.

But we threw some traditions away eh, didn’t we? Like trokosi, widowhood rites, F.G.M and co. Why? Because the eyes of our understanding got enlightened, because wisdom dawned on us, because we realized they’re unsane.

In the case of bride price, they say you’re not buying the woman, you’re just appreciating her family, but who prescribes appreciation?

Why doesn’t our tradition demand both families be appreciated? Say the woman and her family goes to the man’s, announce their intentions(or the reverse) like “ooo your son and our daughter want to get married, we came to inquire if you’re in the known and if it’s alright by you? The man’s family gives a nod then her family goes like “thank you, here, a present from us”
The man and his family in turn appreciate the woman’s too, here a present from us.

That looks more like appreciation. Or? Plus we even take the “appreciation” before giving him what he wants. LoL. What else looks like appreciation is the man himself deciding what to give rather than him presenting items determined by the bride’s family, which is compulsory. Heheeee..

Now talking about the traditions we threw away, widowhood rites for example was maltreatment of women, (I don’t think they were doing widowerhood rites, at least I’ve never heard)same is true for trokosi and F.G.M.

Even dipo which is done to usher a girl into puberty and also ensure she keeps her virginity, I judge unfair, for it places all of the effort in remaining sexually pure on the girl. It takes two to have sex so why don’t we have traditions which usher boys into puberty and ensure they keep their virginity too?


Not all, the people of the old testament caught a woman in the act of adultery, it means they saw both the man and the woman in action, “feeli feeli” , but they grabbed only the woman, brought her to Christ saying the law asks that she be stonned (I’m sure they even mishandled her on the way). Can you tell me why the man wasn’t dragged there too? Or they did but it wasn’t recorded?

Today, some countries have laws which prevents a woman from passing her citizenship onto her child. How does that even make sense? The child I carried in my womb for 9 months doesn’t belong where I belong(so if a woman from such a country has a child with a man from another country, the child is a citizen of the man’s country, never a citizen of the woman’s.)

Even in some of our cultures, we are told a child belongs to his father and so you come from where your daddy comes from not your mom.

Why can’t a child equally belong to both parents? Why can’t I equally come from where they both come from?

Infact if we want to be fair, who should the child belong to? Yes, you’re right not the one who carried it in her womb and bore all the pains.

In the face of all these and more, you turn around to tell me a woman is special, she is of high value and must be treated as such hence the payment of bride price.

We are special eh? So the people of old and the people who made discriminatory laws against women didn’t and don’t realise our specialness?

A.J Kwame